Deep in My Heart

I'm in deep frustration.. dun know how to describe.. when we truly hope for something but end up by getting nothing in returns.. hmm.. i dun even know how to react.. is it wrong if I get angry with that..? Shud I be the 1 to be blamed if de other party dun even give a damn of effort..? Am I going to feel Alone all the time..?

Patient.. I've been so patient all this time.. and now I dun even think if my patient would be worth it enough.. I can't keep on waiting for something to break me down.. All this while I keep saying.. I am stronger..! No matter what happen, in any situation, soon or later I will get through it.. Now.. the faith is fading.. I'm not sure if I could be the strong woman anymore.

Sometimes I even asked.. why Allah didn't fulfill my wish..? I'm not blaming any.. but I'm soo puzzle.. When I think it back.. If I get what I wish for, is it the best for me..?? I believed Allah knew better.. I will never stop praying the best for me & my family.

** Kadang2 kita bertanya.. kenapa Allah turunkan hujan dan sembunyikan matahari.. tp kita x tahu.. rupa2 selepas hujan reda.. Allah sediakan pelangi untuk kita.. mungkin, sesuatu yg kita harapkan bukanlah yg terbaik untuk kita.. sebaliknya Allah sediakan sesuatu yg lebih baik dalam bentuk yg lain.. hmmmm